WARNING: To Be Used As Directed

Tue, 03 Jan 2006 01:37:43 GMT

I'm sorry, journal. I should use you and make more entries.
I have decided over the break that it is very important that I move far away from home, maybe move far away from America. Of course, you can never get too far away from America, can you? But whatever, I'm moving. It isn't that I hate this place or anything. I just think that I need to get away from it, maybe away from my family or something.

As of now, I see three possibilities for college:

1) Easy- TOPS, ULL. Do well without too much effort.
2) Obscure- One of those colleges that aren't bad, but nobody really knows about them and they aren't that great either. Minimal work.
3) Black Diamond- Expensive, hard to get into, extremely challenging/pompous college. Either work hard to do somewhat well or just coast by on averages.

Nothing looks that fun. Meeghgh.

Sun, 11 Dec 2005 06:00:08 GMT

i cannot type that essay

like....if i do it, i will die

Sat, 10 Dec 2005 04:51:58 GMT

Exciting news of the week:
I'm trying to get a French scholarship.
I have type O-negative blood.
I probably have a mild concussion.

Sun, 20 Nov 2005 06:11:49 GMT

addictively enough, yhchang has put in THREE new flashes

THREE

this has made my month/six weeks/season

HA!

HA!

HA!

I especially like "The Last Day of Betty Knomo."

HA! HA! HA!

Tue, 08 Nov 2005 03:33:55 GMT

Whereas, lethal injection is expensive,

And Whereas, carbon monoxide, produced from the burning of flesh, is not a major contributor to ambient atmospheric carcinogens,

And Whereas, witches, warlocks, sorcerers, sorceresses, enchanters, enchantresses, necromancers, beldam(e)s, crones, hags, priests and priestesses of voodoo, doppelgangers, conjurers, conjurors, vampires, nymphs, fawns, mermaids, mermen, Erinyes, Furies, Gorgons, those who have made pacts with the Devil, and those who show no signs of aging (hereafter referred to as abnormally magical entities of malcontent sentient) burn.

And Whereas, the natural resistance of abnormally magical entities o f malcontent sentient to the experience of natural death causes nothing but trouble, evidenced in the coupling of the ever-growing state of the population of abnormally magical entities of malcontent sentient with the possibility for abnormally magical entities of malcontent sentient to collect social security for eternity, for mortals,

And Whereas, abnormally magical entities of malcontent sentient act as economic irregulators, disrupting the business cycle, due, in part, to their demonic power of unnatural clairvoyance which allows them to preemptively make crucial decisions in the marketing spheres and due, in part, to their willingness to utilize their evil gifts to deter economic success,

And Whereas, the removal of abnormally magical entities of malcontent sentient is the best method with which to prevent abnormally magical entities of malcontent sentient from causing such terrible problems,

And Whereas, a “trial by fire” is the best litmus test to determine the efficacy of extermination of abnormally magical entities o f malcontent sentient in relation to this country’s economic and societal welfare,

Be it therefore resolved, that this Student Congress support the use of thermal energy to truncate the lives of all abnormally magical entities of malcontent sentient to protect the United States economy and foster a paradigm of wholesome, pure lifestyles.

Mon, 31 Oct 2005 00:02:59 GMT

someone needs a haircut

its me

Tue, 25 Oct 2005 05:19:48 GMT

    “Shoot for the moon, even if you miss you’ll land among the stars.” Sure, poster, easy for you to say. You’re perfectly content with lounging there upon my classroom wall. But what about us? What about humanity? It’s a little harder for us to achieve glory. With self-help book abound and proclaiming the formula for instant success, where do we turn to become known? How do we even land among the stars? This humble poster’s answer rings truth; shoot for the moon. But how? We must look at the countless others who have shot for the moon. What do they have in common? Interesting pasts... And not just interesting, per se, but amazing and–above all–eccentric.
    Steven Covey dazzled the world with his Seven Habits of Highly Effective People; but, effectiveness isn’t what real people want, is it? No. They want fame. So, I am here, your Virgilian guide along the path to fame, or at least notoriety and infamy, with the nine layers of eccentricity. These layers, increasing in eccentricity the farther down they go, serve as guidelines to plunge the very bowels of the most eccentric. Use these and surely you will go far.
    The first circle: a tremendous, yet esoteric, vocabulary. The primary objective of eccentricity is to individuate from the mundane, quotidian society. An extensive command of one’s native language lends credence to the possibility of divine essence residing withing the overlord of such a paramount linguistic catalogue. However, diversity must transcend the auditory. To leave a lasting impression, it is imperative that one continues to the olfactory and visual, which leads us to the second circle: hygiene.
    Famous eccentric, Einstein was notorious for his poor grooming habits. He was not a habitual bather, nor was his hair well acquainted with a comb or brush. But what, other than the theory of relativity and the atomic bomb, do we really remember about Einstein? His hair. Neglect you physical self and you will go far. Smell is the sense primarily connected with memory. Leave a permanent image and odor on your soon-to-be fans. Once physicalities are dealt with, an eccentric culture must be established.
    Level three: music. In every culture around the world there is music. Naturally, as one of the uniting qualities of man, the true eccentric would have the quirkiest preference yet still maintain a seriousness over the matter. One word: opera. No true villain, an epitome of eccentricity, would function without opera. It is the stereotypical medium of artistic expression of the aloof, pseudointellectual, and eccentric alike. Because no one really immerses himself in opera, he or she will not grasp the concept to the degree that eccentric has so done. Sir Edward Appleton said, “I don't mind what language an opera is sung in so long as it is a language I don't understand.” A perfect quote to lead into level four: mastery of a foreign language.
    An eccentric must be able to astound, baffle, confuse, and deter any naysayer. Hopefully, the powerful eccentric will have crossed the language barrier. A smart eccentric will take this a step further and will be fluent in a less known language; for example: instead of French, try verlan, French slang which inverts the words to have a backwards sound. Here is an Edith Sitwell quote, “Eccentricity is not...madness,” translated into verlan: “Tricitélexin pest nas la lifo.”
    Once cultural and sensory eccentricities are established, we get to the deep stuff: manifestations of eccentricity in domestic life. And what good eccentric would leave out level five: the pet. Now, of course, any eccentric is smart enough to know that a dog or cat will simply not suffice. He must define himself with his pet. My suggestion: a jellyfish. Do you know anyone with a pet jellyfish? No. Is a pet jellyfish useful? Not particularly; you can’t pet it; it can’t fetch you slippers, nor can it greet you at the door after a long day at work or school. This lack of utility sets the jellyfish miles above any other potential vertebrate pet. For added eccentricity, I suggest a historical name; Vércéngétorix, perhaps.
    After establishing a companion is the perfect time to begin self-exile. Total removal from society is too difficult for the characteristically lazy eccentric, so instead the sixth circle serves as a model of alienation: separation from the grid. Secede from the local utilities providers and set up your own power and plumbing systems. Photovoltaic, or solar energy, would be the way to go; it’s clean and easy. For water, collect rainwater. After all, the government has tainted the tap water by putting that pesky kind control serum in it, right? If so, you’re all ready for the seventh layer: develop a complex.
    At the heart of all famous leaders resides a complex. I cite Napoleon. He was even lucky enough to have a complex named after him. Rudimentarily speaking, a complex is one of the bare necessities for the uber-eccentric because it creates an excuse for odd behavior.
“Why do you insist of checking the locks so frequently/?”
“They are determined to break in and steal my figurine collection.”
A well-developed complex is the pass to the two rites of passage to live in the ranks of the most appreciated and renowned eccentrics. The first mission and eighth circle: participation in an assassination attempt.
    Famous assassin of President Garfield, Charles Guiteau, was eccentric, to say the least. He, with the help of his complex, manage to muster up the claim that his assassination was “a political necessity.” His actions acted a giant leaps and bounds for the advancement of the eccentric cause. He opened the doors and inspired countless more successful and unsuccessful attempts at assassinations of prominent world leaders. Unfortunately, while Mr. Guilteau did manage to assassinate a United States President, he did not manage to secure a longstanding place in history. The proven method of eternal greatness lies at the center of eccentricity. The ninth and final circle, the answer to all the inquiries, the key to timelessness: religion.
    Once a religion is established, it will flourish forever. Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, and Buddhism (Yes, eccentrics have declared it a religion.) have all stood the test of time. The key for an eccentric to keep his or her fame is to parley that moment in the sun, afforded by the eighth level, into an eternity in the stars. If founding a religion is too difficult, a possible avenue would be nurturing some obscure underground religion to monumental stature. The eccentric must, of course, make himself or herself the central deity of this religion; all this training cannot go to waist, can it? The language, habits, intellect, and psyche that have been conditioned for all this time now come together to culminate in a god.
    Shoot for the moon; go through these circles with the upmost vigor and zeal. Create a lifestyle that is uniquely your own. You will climb the ranks of humanity and, from a different angle, land among and rebehold the stars.

Mon, 24 Oct 2005 05:00:45 GMT

soon to come: nine steps to eccentricity

Sun, 23 Oct 2005 04:42:17 GMT

ha.
ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
ha.

now im going to the caddo tournament.

what kind of suit should i get?

Thu, 20 Oct 2005 01:24:19 GMT

so i havent seen mom in two months and we decide for me to go up the weekend after homecoming
turns out i probably wont be able to now...im guessing that i just wont be seeing her until thanksgiving
school is lots of fun
i seriously love life right now.

...yes

Wed, 19 Oct 2005 02:19:53 GMT

Today I got a pep talk of sorts, and I know more than every what I want to do.
I'm' feeling like my old self again.

Sun, 16 Oct 2005 05:28:24 GMT

http://www.students.yorku.ca/~kaldeway/about/howtodeal.shtml

truth.

Thu, 13 Oct 2005 04:25:59 GMT

Currently, I believe the best way to defeat Reed will be through extreme passive aggression and guilt.
I'm going to make him cry.

Wed, 12 Oct 2005 02:53:15 GMT

Things are going well. Baggage has been dropped. Prom looks like it will be awesome. IRE meeting was there. I'm doing my homework. And I think I'm getting ideas as to what I want to do.

So tomorrow will be terrible.

Reed is an ass, and I feel the need to do everything within my power to make him unhappy because I am a naysayer. It isn't that I'm a naysayer, it's just that he has crappy ideas....like parliamentary debate. Yeah, you know...that thing we do at tour--on wait... we don't do it at tournaments. Nevermind, then.

Mon, 10 Oct 2005 03:34:48 GMT

so its kinda around eighty degrees inside
i dont think im going to sleep much tonight

Sun, 09 Oct 2005 15:35:00 GMT

I'm rescheduling my birthday for some time after homecoming. Be prepared.

Thu, 29 Sep 2005 20:40:41 GMT

hahahahahaha
scherzo
get it
its a joke
a really long joke
anyway

Today has been interesting. I haven't really been able to stop for a while, so I skipped a homecoming thing today to have some time for whatever... most likely school work. These first six weeks have really gone to hell. The only classes I'm doing well in are French, Leadership, Math, and American History. Everything else is not really that special. I have a problem with a certain philosophy of learning that constitutes intense application. It makes me feel like I'm driving in the country at night without headlights or arms. I think that more than anything my recent failures have been a severe lack of interest because it's all been things I already understand the concept of and that I don't understand the importance of names as long as people know what it is. Anyway...

I know that many people think that I am a person that is extremely negative. I'm not, honestly, and I don't know why I'm even defending myself on it. I'm realistic. I speak my mind. I don't hold back things that might sound unhappy while only publicizing things like bunnies and rainbows. Seriously, everyone thinks negative things, and not saying them only bottles things up. If I "complain," it's a catharsis. I don't make people out to be monsters; I really don't. But I'll be damned if I try to smear positivity all over something that--to me--does not seem so great. Optimism is nice to a degree, but after a while it is borderline insanity.

Now I'm going to give a rhetorical guilt trip. Nothing anyone can say to me is of extreme value. Call jaded or arrogant or whatever you want; I don't really care. I've put up with enough belittlement to last me a while. I haven't had a very supportive family during high school or middle school. I was expected to perform at a certain level, and when I did, nothing happened, and when I didn't, it rained brimstone. I've had to deal with this monolithic guilt complex from a long time ago, but I think everyone has heard that story. But if everything has taught me anything, it has taught me that words are not actions, so I don't worry about words, and I try to do the right thing or the helpful thing, yet that always falls under the radar because there are people that make martyrs of themselves, whereas I am not a martyr. But we love martyrs, don't we? It's always nice to have someone to objectify and someone to villanize.

So what is one to do? I think about love. Keep something on yourself to remind you of it. It tends to work; you remember love, and when you do, you don't want to villanize or objectify. Everyone is of equal value.

But what do I know, right? I'm being negative. I'm ranting in a long-ass journal entry. I myself am belittling. Yes. That's it.

Mon, 26 Sep 2005 07:36:04 GMT

A big tree fell on our neighbors' car:

then it happened all over again in color

and we went to the parking garage and Taylor decided to look small in comparison to the rest of the city, but she only did it because she was in black and white

and the wind blew too...i didnt know if i liked color or black and white more so i printed out both

and we went to saint johns i like the black and white one more but i brought out the green in the color version

sepia rooftops, black and white rooftops, color rooftops

a random house downtown across from the courthouse

Sun, 25 Sep 2005 05:54:35 GMT

Please shoot my in the face. That would be awesome. Thanks. We still don't have power.

Mon, 19 Sep 2005 01:47:03 GMT

Joining the Choctaw Nation is now easier than ever. Just prove you are a "lineal" relation of at least one of those mentioned as Choctaw in the Act of April 26, 1906. Yay! Affirmative action. I love you! Come be an indian... Native American with me! Hurray!

Sat, 17 Sep 2005 01:47:20 GMT

One week and I'll be seventeen. Crazy.

Sat, 10 Sep 2005 16:56:53 GMT

Oratory ideas. Go.

Misinformation?

Sat, 10 Sep 2005 05:11:58 GMT

Apparently, nobody knows about that time that I "killed someone" with my mind while in Arkansas.

Wed, 07 Sep 2005 01:36:00 GMT

A squeaking nun would have done more justice. Oh, well, that's life; I can't make all the abraisive comments. Plus, I'm not too concerned about what everyone else thinks, but I can totally sense insecurity when I'm around it. Granted, we all have it, but I think everyone knows what I mean: It causes some people to make a show. Well, that's it. I should post more interesting things.

Sun, 04 Sep 2005 00:41:09 GMT

8 tonight to 6:30 tomorrow morning i will be at blackham coliseum with les animaux

feel at liberty to call
2547704

ill be locked in there